That's funny Jamey! Well, at least I can proudly say I live in a city where women wear THE pants and a popular U.S. president was assassinated. It's also known for that truly exellent 80's television series featuring J.R.
Most tourist come here to see where the TV show was filmed (amazing how big it looks on the screen), and most of the furriners are looking for tumbleweeds, cactus, cowboys, and cattledrives. None of those things exist within a hundred miles from here.
Big D tourists also have a strange fixation on the downtown block where Kennedy was shot. You can drive by the book depository at almost any time of day or night and find someone walking around that area, taking photos, and piecing together their own conspiracy theory.
What I do for fun? I like to scatter spent 6.5 mm ammo casings on the grassy knoll... grab a forty of Bud Ice, then park... and sit back and watch the fun.