I haven't yet read the book through and I haven't stumbled upon any inspiration yet so I don't know what she's talking about, but I know that I often have problems when an author uses too much or too heavy inspiration. Though I agree with you in that inspiration is a true and valid guide in our lives, too many writers seem to use it as a cop-out rather than solve the story. LDS fiction has more leeway than other genre's but I think it means that LDS writers have to be even more aware of their skill in order to make the inspiration truly believable and un-contrived. One of my pet peeves with some writers is when they weave an incredible story and then solve it by their character just having a feeling that happenes to lead everyone to a speedy perfect resolutin. Again, I don't know that your book does and I'm sure it doesn't but it's a tendancy that we all need to avoid like the plague. Incidentally she gave me a similar feedback in Surrounded By Strangers where I had a coincidence that I had tried to set up as devine intersception of two characters. I thought she missed the point but as time passed I've looked back at that scene and I see that I didn't set it up correctly and that it wasn't all together necessary. Readers will often pick up on inspiration without it having to be overt. Again, nothing about your book, but a comment in regards to her comments on the subject. I'll post some information on Deux et Machina which is an actual explination of this tendancey. Because inspiration is such a big part of our lives and our writing it's too easy for us to rely on it too much and therefore cripple our own story.

there are other religions portrayed in novels, but very few of them deal with inspiration the way Mormon's do. The books you're referring to deal with a religions culture and lifestyle but don't deal with spiritual things to nearly the degree that LDS people, likely because those religions don't rely on personal inspiration and such like we do.

It's a really hard line to toe when it comes to spirituality in a novel. You can have a lot of spiritual aspects and one person will think it too much and another will think it not enough. Which is why you as the writer have to be able to write it in a way that digestable to MOST people. You have to revise it as a writer and then revise it as a member of the church as well, making sure your elements add up correctly and give an accurate and unmanipulated view of the story. I have read several books that are national type stories and yet the authors shakes in a scene or two of profound spirituality that honestly doesn't fit. I find that manipulative and poorly written, like they suddenly realized they needed some gospel in it and simply plugged it in. So we have to look at both sides of the spectrum and make sure that we've been fair to our characters, our story and our readers.
I'm working on your book right now and I'll let you know what I think when I finish. Jennie is a good reviewer though, she reads a lot and knows her stuff. I take all she says very seriously.
Good luck
Josi Kilpack

I have to agree. Although I had wonderful feedback across the board (except from Catholic aunt) about the inspirational parts of my book (which are in
no shape or form the major parts) and how it handled, I do not want to be one of those writers who uses it as a crutch. Darvell, have you had a chance to read my book yet? What do you think about the way it was handled in my book?. Although Jennie Hansen thought it overdone she also thought I handled it extremely well. But I want to learn from this experience.

I deliberately did not shoot for the national market with Out of the Shadows, but let myself simply write without the major editing and watering down I do with my mainstream movie stuff. I have been pleasantly surprised to find my book appealing to one and all; men and women, teenagers, and people of all faiths. So I have a major curiosity whether I need to
concentrate on this in my next book or if it was handled well.

Okay, that's enough pontificating now.

Candace

Here's the info on Deus ex Machina. In no way to I mean to imply that this is at all present in your book, just sharing the information.


"Deus ex Machina
In some ancient Greek drama, an apparently insoluble crisis was solved by the intervention of a god, often brought on stage by an elaborate piece of equipment. This "god from the machine" was literally a deus ex machina.
Few modern works feature deities suspended by wires from the ceiling, but the term deus ex machina is still used for cases where an author uses some improbable (and often clumsy) plot device to
work his or her way out of a difficult situation. When the cavalry comes charging over the hill or when the impoverished hero is relieved by an unexpected inheritance, it's often called a deus ex machina."