Never remembered the French version.

Strapped some shoes to my horse
They made him trot like tortoise
We made a stop by Nonc Weir's
It seemed to take about a year
He swore we needed caffeine
I said we mellow and serene
He got mad and used some force
Took a cutlass to my horse
Knocked me off the saddle side
And stuck a shank deep in my hide
I tried to rouse my bleeding steed
But he only laid and bleed
So I ran behind a tree
Because my horse wore Nike
And my uncle was a chump
So he had his stomach pumped
From Ibuprofen so he said

That's how I grew up and remembered it.

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