Our band opened our set with "an hour too late" and my Bb had a flapper FALL OFF! I finished the tune, but should have stopped immediately, as it really sucked have the reeds just blowing away. I really hate it when that happens.....
k.jones

Sounds like a "worst gig" experience. Anyone else have a story about a "gig from hell" experience?

i once had a piece of foam rubber [mic mount]
come loose in the accordion

it would play way out of tune, on some notes
and some directions only!

of course it was lying on the reeds - sometimes -
and not when pushing, only pulling

that was weird!

and a cajun player i know once had his accordion
go completely out of tune temporarily due to
condensation
his accordion was cold and he took it outside
to a totally warm and humid place
either that or he was playing under a ceiling fan
[try that some time for a weird experience]

wle

It's funny you mention the ceiling fan. I just installed one in my bedroom and was playing under it the other day and it made my accordion sound like it was completely out of tune. I almost crapped my pants until I figured out what was going on

yep that;s what it does!

doppler effect or something

wle.

Yep! doopler effect is what celing fans do. Just like the old dooplers used in the rock and roll era.

Here is the number one cause of rust on accordion reeds.

Playing in a very cool venue and going out in the hot humid air. Then dropping the accordion in it's case without letting it dry out.

Ceiling fan? If a fan is interfering with your sound, crank up the volume! Must be an acoustic thing??

I've seen plenty of hellish things over the years... too numerous to detail. So here's a dozen things I've experienced... be lucky you've got a ceiling fan.

1) Most weddings are gigs straight from the Devil's Woodyard.
2) Drunks falling on stage, monitors and knocking mics over and into your teeth.
3) Drunks that scream, "Freebird!" "Mustang Sally!" and... "Chicken Dance!"
4) Drunks that relentlessly request songs by George Strait or Michael Jackson.
5) Drunks that request any song made popular by pop female artists, such as Cher, Tina Turner and Celine Dion, knowing we are dudes, we sing like dudes and we have our cobbles intact.
6) Drunk chicks that suddenly think they are rubboard players.
7) Drunk chicks that walk up and take percussion equipment from the stage, i.e., tambourines, triangle, or cowbell and end up in the bathroom or parking lot with them.
8) Drunk dudes that show up with a harmonica and want to "sit-in". They never "sit-out." Suddenly they think they passed an audition and want to know when your next gig is.
9) Drunk dudes that think they are Stevie Ray and pester the guitarist all night to do a tune (or seven) with us.
10) Drunks, in general, are the sole cause of gigs from Satan's Crib.
11) Shiddie door guys that pocket cover (see: Lakewood Bar & Grill, Dallas)
12) Any venue that books more than 2 acts in one night, creating a royal cloisterfug of equipment, interrupting the foot-traffic within the club, which drunks inevitably fall over -- and into.

R!CK

Rick, you're being way too hard on drunks, they need love and understanding.

What Michael Jackson song do you do on accordion?

Huh huh uh uh huh uh you said hard on. Bryan, as you know, I'm drunk right this very minute -- AND I play a drunk on TV -- but not on stage. Nor do I go make a swillin' soused **** out of myself while other musicians that are trying to entertain and make a buck. That's all.

Michael Jackson tunes I am currently working on (not in any order):

Ben
Billie Jean
Beat It
Bad

I figured I'd cover any of his tunes that begins with the letter, "B" (as in boy).

I thought about, "ABC", but I don't want to sound too much like Keith Frank's "Candy Girl"!

Why do you ask?

R!CK

I ask because:

1. I thought you might need some sensitivity training with drunks and was going to volunteer to act as the drunk, I have practiced.

2. While playing the drunk, I thought I might do a moon walk to the triple row.

Bryan -- don't sell yourself short; you're a tremendous drunk.

Never hurts to ask, though.

The moonwalk is a bit antiquated; might still work, especially with the 3-row. But it's all about the dutty booty wine nowadays. Being drunk is an advantage with that -- yuh can claim yuh don' remember doin' it -- an' if yuh git slapped, it won't hurt as bad!

Mix yuh beer with some strong rum (jus' so) -- dung de islands dey call dat "steel bottom" bwoy!

Big ups!

R!CK

Oh Man,

You're right about the drunks showing up with rubboards and harmonicas. Everyone wants to sit in and share in the fun, even though they did exactly zero time zero of the work for booking.

I played a wedding two weeks ago where the groom turned us down for a piece of cake. He was like, "...uh, I guess, uh...". I went and grabbed a slice.

Some of the worst gigs ever have involved the "evil threes": bad soundmen (awful sound; terrible attitude), bad drink policy (e.g. 1 free bottle shelf drink...the rest are $8 each), and bad pay ("Ok, you had 45 people who showed up. Each paid $10. Here's your $85. BTW I need your social"...").

I can usually win over a bad crowd...

Being a part time "sound guy" at a concert venue (no drunks unless they fuel up ahead of time), I'm interested in what the gigging accordionistas identify as good and bad behaviors in the sound reinforcement category.

I'll offer one for starters: thinking that the point of the gig is to show off how big your sub-woofers are at the expense of vocals and melody instruments.
S'b'B

Aye mate -- I savvy. There's good and bad sound.

Good guys ask in advance, via email, for a stage plot and are already present at the venue before the band shows up.

Good guys always have high-quality equipment.

Good guys know the guitar is not the lead instrument in a band where accordionistas cohabitate. They also know vox should cut clear and above all (if possible) or at least on a level where lyrics can be comprehended and harmonies are sweet and in synch. They "get" the balance of lows/mids/highs and find the sweet spot for each instrument and also take into consideration the dynamics and acoustics of a room. (see: Poor David's Pub, Dallas)

Good guys also have individual monitor mixes (if available) and especially one back there for the drummer!

Good guys are intuitive and proactive and are always behind the board... focused -- even if everything seems cook and curry.

Good guys get thanked on-stage by the band with a healthy applause from the audience.

Bad guys show up 25 minutes after the kick-off while the room is full and the audience is asking the band, "sooo... when do you guys start?!" (see: Lakewood Bar & Grill, Dallas)

Bad guys don't have an extra mic stand to replace the one that was stolen the night before -- or the one that is missing a leg. Bad guys also don't have backups of missing mic mounts, lines, etc. Small things -- those are the big things, really.

Bad guys don't like to mic the drums, especially the kick.

Bad guys don't know how to correctly gain control of feedback, ESPECIALLY with accordions.

My experience has been bad guys vs. good guys = 50/50. It's a crap shoot out there.

R!CK

I'm usually wireless, and if (a big if), there's a sound check, I'll wander to the sound board to 'encourage' the mix we're looking for. I've been pretty lucky using the "I know you know what you're doing, but since you've never heard us" aproach. Sometimes, you get a wing nut full of himself, and all you can do is look forward to being done. Oh, and make a couple sutble remarks on mic, like invite the audience to such and such a place where the sound is really good.
Steve

Well, now you're being a little harsh on bad guys. I think you are in serious need of peace and love training. I also play an extremely convincing screw up, preferably, but not necessarily, when playing a drunk.

You're right Mr. LaFleur. I'm sorry. I'm can be as harsh as a salary cap. Or a unmitred corner. Yuh git the idea. Again... sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorrier than Brenda Lee, mk?

Sorry,

R!CK

Verified Worst Gig Examples Continued:

Example No.1: Oversize DrunK Chick that keeps careening towards you while singing, making google eyes, you struggle to ignore her. At end of firts set she attacks, lifting you off your chair before you even finish the tune.

2: You do promo for 8:30 , but the Barman announces that you can't start until the hockey game is over. People who've paid start to leave, the game goes into overtime (playoffs), finally ends and the soundman is a total neophyte turns out not to know what he's doing. Giant feedback noises punctuate the disastrous first "soundcheck ". A replacement soundman is finally called in but the opening duo are royally ****** .

3: Sleazy club owner books you for a night, the surly soundman is late, can't balance the bass, steel & acoustic sounds or get the monitor sound together and disses you when you complain. He dissappears before he's finished and you find him in the can swilling beer.
You've done promo and manned the door, collected door money from fans then the sleazy club owner interupts your first set, announcing that you have to be off the stage in 10 minutes because he's double booked the bar for another event in one half hour. An oversize drag queen in heels rolls in with a crowd of twenty year-old partykids in tow for a drag bingo party.

Sh*t, Harlan. That's Montreal...

My worst was letting an Oompah band convince me to play a Cajun tune on fiddle with them. I thought they were a little shaky on Jolie Blonde and when it came time for the vocals (Long drawn out note in C) the band decides G is a better chord to be in. I've never been so red in the face in front of 500 people.
The worst one I've heard of happened to a guy I played with. This musician, (who will go unamed for obvious reasons) plays with a major local cajun band and had some stomach trouble before going on stage. He realizes hes gotta take a crap midway through a long medley and with no options, lets one loose while hes backed up against the bass amp. Realized he was wearing baggy shorts and no underwear a little too late. Made me feel better about my nightmares on stage.

Okay, I've got my own experience with a bad sound guy. I was playing in Paris with the Magnolia Sisters and the sound guy was SMASHED. I mean a few bottles under, at least. First, he almost put the monitor down on Mom's fiddle. Second, when the battery died in my preamp, instead of changing it, he unplugged it, plugged me straight through the amp, and my very wonderful, rich-sounding Martin wound up sounding like a mandolin someone pulled out of a dumpster. During the break between the second and third sets, we actually WITNESSED him fall off of his chair, onto his back, and smash a full bottle of wine. YAY!