'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday..' And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

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A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
her nightgown and say 'Supersex...' She walked up to
an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment
or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the
soup.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

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Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..'

Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US !!!!
_________________________________________________________________


DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went through a red light.'

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.

At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So she turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'

Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'