HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
>
>1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 used men's work boots.
>2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
>magazine.
>3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
>4. Leave a note on your door that reads...
>
>Bubba,
>Me, Junior, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be
>back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman
>this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but
>it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in
the house.
>Better wait outside. Be right back.
>Cooter