I highly reccommend that after you access this webpage you should print this off. Once you have completed a task involving Planar Progression mark them off and mark them off as you go.
A couple buddies and I made this a while ago and believe that it is the most logical progression towards planar progression:

http://e.domaindlx.com/gomn/bonzz/planprog.htm#5

To see what you are doing wrong or to get your free AA for your charm follow these directions

Find Gram Dunnar (Level 60) in the Plane of Knowledge. He is in a building near the Plane of Tranquility portal (n324, n174).
Hail him. If he does not respond, you are not a sufficient level for this quest yet (must be Level 51, I believe).

1) If he does respond, say to him, "What craft?" He will then give you the Paladin version of the Intricate Wooden Figurine (see above)! The stats will not reach noted maximum until you are fully flagged for all Planes!
2) Now you must complete certain flagging events. Not all flagging events gain you a free AA.
3) After each flagging event that you complete, go back to Gram Dunnar.
Hail him and say, "I will tell you stories."
If you have finished your flagging process and
the flag is one of the flags that apply -- you
will be rewarded with a free Alternate
Advancement point!
4) If #3 does not work, walk over to the next building and sit down in front of Seer Mal Nae`Shi, and say to her, "Unlock my memories." You can also try saying, "Guided meditation." (You must be sitting down to talk with her).