wach that coonass stuf we do go for it heer why do folks get upsit when i talk heer i try to hepl you yung folk heer that the probulm yall dont want to heer what the old pleple say call me dunk dumbs and so forft you should sall be ashmed them ones who talk dirt about us--teebooger

It's because you are a phony - somebody might talk like that, but it doesn't work when it's written out. It is a nice try at parody, but it is so obviously fake that it ends up not being funny at all.