I'm usually wireless, and if (a big if), there's a sound check, I'll wander to the sound board to 'encourage' the mix we're looking for. I've been pretty lucky using the "I know you know what you're doing, but since you've never heard us" aproach. Sometimes, you get a wing nut full of himself, and all you can do is look forward to being done. Oh, and make a couple sutble remarks on mic, like invite the audience to such and such a place where the sound is really good.
Steve
Well, now you're being a little harsh on bad guys. I think you are in serious need of peace and love training. I also play an extremely convincing screw up, preferably, but not necessarily, when playing a drunk.
You're right Mr. LaFleur. I'm sorry. I'm can be as harsh as a salary cap. Or a unmitred corner. Yuh git the idea. Again... sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorrier than Brenda Lee, mk?
Example No.1: Oversize DrunK Chick that keeps careening towards you while singing, making google eyes, you struggle to ignore her. At end of firts set she attacks, lifting you off your chair before you even finish the tune.
2: You do promo for 8:30 , but the Barman announces that you can't start until the hockey game is over. People who've paid start to leave, the game goes into overtime (playoffs), finally ends and the soundman is a total neophyte turns out not to know what he's doing. Giant feedback noises punctuate the disastrous first "soundcheck ". A replacement soundman is finally called in but the opening duo are royally ****** .
3: Sleazy club owner books you for a night, the surly soundman is late, can't balance the bass, steel & acoustic sounds or get the monitor sound together and disses you when you complain. He dissappears before he's finished and you find him in the can swilling beer.
You've done promo and manned the door, collected door money from fans then the sleazy club owner interupts your first set, announcing that you have to be off the stage in 10 minutes because he's double booked the bar for another event in one half hour. An oversize drag queen in heels rolls in with a crowd of twenty year-old partykids in tow for a drag bingo party.
My worst was letting an Oompah band convince me to play a Cajun tune on fiddle with them. I thought they were a little shaky on Jolie Blonde and when it came time for the vocals (Long drawn out note in C) the band decides G is a better chord to be in. I've never been so red in the face in front of 500 people.
The worst one I've heard of happened to a guy I played with. This musician, (who will go unamed for obvious reasons) plays with a major local cajun band and had some stomach trouble before going on stage. He realizes hes gotta take a crap midway through a long medley and with no options, lets one loose while hes backed up against the bass amp. Realized he was wearing baggy shorts and no underwear a little too late. Made me feel better about my nightmares on stage.
Okay, I've got my own experience with a bad sound guy. I was playing in Paris with the Magnolia Sisters and the sound guy was SMASHED. I mean a few bottles under, at least. First, he almost put the monitor down on Mom's fiddle. Second, when the battery died in my preamp, instead of changing it, he unplugged it, plugged me straight through the amp, and my very wonderful, rich-sounding Martin wound up sounding like a mandolin someone pulled out of a dumpster. During the break between the second and third sets, we actually WITNESSED him fall off of his chair, onto his back, and smash a full bottle of wine. YAY!
The April 2011 Dewey Balfa Cajun & Creole Heritage Week
